Conscious Divorce?

What would divorce be like if we brought a higher level of consciousness to the process? Is it possible? Of course – as long as one or both parties are willing and able to do so. Unfortunately, the majority of people aren’t aware of the concept of consciousness and even if they are, a highly charged emotional event such as divorce is probably one of the most challenging times to engage in this practice.

For the benefit of those readers who may not  be familiar with the term consciousness, what I am referring to is one’s awareness of their true, divine inner self. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as “the quality or state of being aware of an external object or something within oneself.” Consciousness also refers to the ability to live in the present moment, because that is the only reality (the past and future do not exist other than in one’s mind). An individual who is fully conscious or awakened is generally considered to be an enlightened being. Some examples of widely known enlightened individuals are the Buddha, Jesus Christ, Mohammed, and Lao Tsu.

Most of us, however, are completely unconscious.  Some of us have glimpses of consciousness  and are working on “waking up” more fully, and even fewer are highly evolved but not yet to the point of enlightenment. One important lesson I have learned is that you can’t seek enlightenment or strive to achieve it. It is not something “out there” to find. It is already inside us all, and we just have to learn how to uncover it.

The benefit of bringing even some level of consciousness to the divorce process is that the individual (or couple) will be less apt to blame for the past and will be more forgiving, focusing on creating a positive future for both parties. No more expensive trials! Attaching oneself to past events and negative emotions is a severe hindrance to an amicable divorce. Letting go of them is liberating and creates the space for peace and long-term happiness. I know – easier said than done.

It is probably a fleeting hope that consciousness will permeate such a stressful, emotional thing as divorce, but it would certainly be impossible without at least promoting the concept. Sometimes all it takes is one small idea to become the catalyst for a massive change.

If you are having trouble understanding the message of this article, one of the best modern spiritual teachers on the subject of consciousness is Eckhart Tolle ( There are many, many others as well, and I also encourage you to learn more about healthy relationships on DaoCloud. Just Googling the term “Consciousness” will yield a plethora of resources to explore. I encourage anyone to do just that. You will be utterly amazed at what you find.

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